Session 4: A Life of Love
Question 1:
When have you been asked to do something that seemed overwhelming at first?
THE POINT
Remaining in Christ means our relationships are marked by love.
THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE
Some things just can’t be done without some level of experience. Imagine trying to bake a cake when you’ve never seen a cake or tasted one. Or imagine being told to quarterback a professional football game when you’ve never watched a game of football. No amount of discipline will get a cake out of your oven if you don’t have a concept of cake. No force of will is going to move your team down the field if you don’t know how to play the game of football.
In this session, we’ll talk about Jesus’ command for us to love. Most people see the value and virtue of this command, but do we really know what love is? In his book Rethink Your Self: The Power of Looking Up Before Looking In, Trevin Wax points out that what people often mean by love is simply the support of others for the version of themselves they have created. He suggests people tend to look for affirmation of the identity they desire, but is that real love?1
Jesus wants us to taste and see His love. Only then can we love one another well.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
John 15:9-11
9 “As the Father has loved me, I have also loved you. Remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 “I have told you these things so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.
Who doesn’t want "complete" joy? We all do. We don’t just want it; we're desperate for it. For too many, the search for complete joy is an exhausting, seemingly impossible pursuit. You may have a closet full of supplies from all the hobbies you’ve embraced and then forgotten, hoping one of them would fill some empty spot in your life. Maybe you check your bank account three times a day, hoping to see a more satisfying sum on the bottom line. Skydivers even jump out of planes for the thrill and pursuit of joy. And then there are those who pursue fitness to the extreme and seem to pursue joy by pursuing misery!
Those outside the Christian faith may question whether complete joy is possible, but God created us to live in joy. Jesus pointed us to the way we can experience this joy, and it’s found in three words.
Love. Jesus’ love is the key to our joy. He came to earth because of His love for us. He came to teach us of the Father’s love and to express that love through His actions and miracles. He showed us love in His response to our sin. In His love for us, Jesus took all our wickedness on Himself. He was nailed to a cross. He died. He was buried behind a boulder. And because of His love for us, He came out of the tomb so that we could have victory.
Remain. We are to continue, abide, dwell in Christ’s amazing love for us. When we remain in His love, our joy can be unbroken, but it’s important we remain. “He commands them to continue in his love. It is possible for people to live without being mindful of Christ’s love for them and so break the closeness of the fellowship. Jesus commands them not to do this.”2 It’s that fellowship with Jesus that brings the joy we’re looking for.
Keep. Jesus called us to “keep my commands,” which simply means we should obey the One who loves us. As we obey His commands, we remain mindful of His love, further compelling us to obey and remain, or abide, in the love that first led us to obey and abide. It’s an incredible cycle of living in His love.
Question 2:
What are some practical steps we can take to remain in God’s love?
All of us want complete joy, and Jesus wants us to have it. That's why He calls us to dwell in Him and obey Him. When we do what He has called us to do, we experience His love and joy over and over again. Complete joy.
John 15:12-14
12 “This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you. 13 No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.
Javier Sotomayor set the world record for the running high jump at 2.45 meters—more than eight feet—on July 27, 1993.3 My oldest daughter is four feet, ten inches, and I know there’s no way I could jump over her without hurting her. What if Javier commanded me to jump as high as he jumped? I’d be overwhelmed because I couldn’t do it.
This is what I thought of when I read Jesus’ command to love like He loves. How can we love as Jesus loved? Jesus is the world record holder for love. No love has ever been higher, deeper, wider, or stronger than the love of Christ. The disciples, when they heard this, must have thought it was like being asked to high jump eight feet. They knew what Jesus’ love looked like; they had seen His love up close and powerful. They’d seen Him love and serve for nothing in return. They didn’t know it yet, but Jesus was about to show them just how far His love would go when He died on the cross for them.
Question 3:
How would you describe Jesus’ love for you?
How do we love as Jesus loved? Though the example of Christ seems unattainable, the answer is simple: We try. And we obey. We look at Jesus, and we try to be like Him. We may not be able to love to the degree Jesus loved, but we can love in the same manner. We may not see the same impact from our love, but we can share the same heart. We love as we have been loved. Be loved and be obedient.
Jesus then clarified His directions: “No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends.” That means the love Christ wants us to have for one another is active and should be sacrificial. Loving as Jesus loved means sacrificing something for the sake of others. Obeying in this way is like Jesus’ obedience to the Father. It might hurt or cost us dearly, but we move forward for the sake of the ones we love. H.A. Ironside put it this way: “It is one thing to talk about love and another to manifest it. I may say I love my mother, and yet refuse to do anything for her when she is sick. Such love counts for very little. … Love is manifested by active benevolence and by obedience.”4
If we’re not demonstrating our love through action, we aren’t loving. If our love never requires sacrifice, we’re only talking. Jesus laid down His life for us and called us to love as He has loved us.
Question 4:
In what ways can we “lay down" our lives for our friends?
Engage
FOR THE LOVE
In your notes, create the acrostic below and list the ways you can show love by making sacrifices for others. Consider family, neighbors, friends, and coworkers. An example has been provided.
L
O
V isit an elderly neighbor
E
Don't allow this activity to be the end. Make plans to carry out one of these ideas this week. Remember, if we’re not demonstrating our love through action, we aren’t loving. If our love never requires sacrifice, we’re only talking.
John 15:15-17
15 I do not call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce fruit and that your fruit should remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he will give you. 17 “This is what I command you: Love one another.
A few years ago, my family and I moved to “the country” and tried to live the farm life. We figured out how to care for our chickens. We managed to get a few vegetables out of the ground. I planted fruit trees, fruit bushes, and every vegetable you can think of, and at least ninety percent of them died before we could put anything on our table. I know the problem. I like to plant the plant, but I don’t like to love the plant. So, I produced very little fruit.
That’s how many of us approach producing fruit for Jesus. We want to stick a seed in the ground, walk away, and be overwhelmed by the crop produced. That’s not how we produce spiritual fruit that remains.
What kind of fruit are we talking about?
Some equate fruit with how many people you lead to faith in Jesus.
Some connect fruit to the ministry you do in the name of Jesus.
Some insist fruit is about the character of Jesus that God shapes in you.
We see all three concepts of fruit in Scripture. To bear fruit can mean leading people to Jesus (see John 4:36); serving them in Jesus’ name (see Matthew 7:16-20); and developing the character of Jesus (see Galatians 5:22-23). Merely giving verbal assent to being a follower of Jesus is inadequate. Life change must happen—and continue to happen. People will see this in how we influence others to follow Jesus, perform ministry acts in Jesus’ name, and live with Christ-like, Spirit-filled character.
Love is the “fertilizer” that aids our evangelistic efforts, our service to others, and our character that points to Christ. Just because Jesus calls us friends and appoints us, doesn’t negate His commands to dwell in Him and love like Him. We bring those lifelong priorities into our friendship with Jesus and our calling to bear fruit. We bring the love of Jesus to the people around us.
Question 5:
What spiritual fruit have you seen in the lives of other members of this group?
Let’s never separate abiding in Jesus and loving like Jesus from serving Jesus and bearing fruit for Jesus. If we want to bear fruit for Christ, we need to show others the love of Christ. We need to help them long to know the same Jesus who has loved us.
LIVE IT OUT
Jesus wants us to taste and see His love. Only then can we love one another well. How can you live a life that is marked by love this week?
Remind someone of Jesus’ love. Buy a small houseplant or flower. Choose one of the verses from this week and write it on the pot or make a small sign with the verse and put in the soil. Give it to someone as a reminder of Jesus’ love.
Reflect on Jesus’ love. Listen to a favorite hymn or worship song about Jesus’ love. Memorize 1 John 4:9-11. Think about how you have experienced His love.
Love when it's hard. Spend some time in prayer, asking God to help you identify someone in your life you struggle to love. Ask Him to help you see that person as He does and love like He loves. Take one step this week toward loving that person—pray for this individual, get to know this person better, bless him or her with kind words.
All of us want complete joy, and Jesus wants us to have it. That's why He calls us to dwell in Him and obey Him. When we do what He has called us to do, we experience His love and joy over and over again.
1. Trevin Wax, Rethink Your Self: The Power of Looking Up Before Looking In (Nashville: B&H, 2020), 12-13.
2. Leon Morris, The Gospel According to John (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1995), 597.
3. “High Jump World Records,” Topend Sports, https://www.topendsports.com/sport/athletics/record-high-jump.htm.
4. H.A. Ironside, Addresses on the Gospel of John (Neptune, NJ: Loizeaux Brothers, 1942), 663. [Lifeway Adults (2021). (p. 37). Bible Studies for Life: Young Adult Personal Study Guide - CSB - Spring 2022. Lifeway Press. Retrieved from https://read.lifeway.com]
Question 1:
When have you been asked to do something that seemed overwhelming at first?
THE POINT
Remaining in Christ means our relationships are marked by love.
THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE
Some things just can’t be done without some level of experience. Imagine trying to bake a cake when you’ve never seen a cake or tasted one. Or imagine being told to quarterback a professional football game when you’ve never watched a game of football. No amount of discipline will get a cake out of your oven if you don’t have a concept of cake. No force of will is going to move your team down the field if you don’t know how to play the game of football.
In this session, we’ll talk about Jesus’ command for us to love. Most people see the value and virtue of this command, but do we really know what love is? In his book Rethink Your Self: The Power of Looking Up Before Looking In, Trevin Wax points out that what people often mean by love is simply the support of others for the version of themselves they have created. He suggests people tend to look for affirmation of the identity they desire, but is that real love?1
Jesus wants us to taste and see His love. Only then can we love one another well.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
John 15:9-11
9 “As the Father has loved me, I have also loved you. Remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 “I have told you these things so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.
Who doesn’t want "complete" joy? We all do. We don’t just want it; we're desperate for it. For too many, the search for complete joy is an exhausting, seemingly impossible pursuit. You may have a closet full of supplies from all the hobbies you’ve embraced and then forgotten, hoping one of them would fill some empty spot in your life. Maybe you check your bank account three times a day, hoping to see a more satisfying sum on the bottom line. Skydivers even jump out of planes for the thrill and pursuit of joy. And then there are those who pursue fitness to the extreme and seem to pursue joy by pursuing misery!
Those outside the Christian faith may question whether complete joy is possible, but God created us to live in joy. Jesus pointed us to the way we can experience this joy, and it’s found in three words.
Love. Jesus’ love is the key to our joy. He came to earth because of His love for us. He came to teach us of the Father’s love and to express that love through His actions and miracles. He showed us love in His response to our sin. In His love for us, Jesus took all our wickedness on Himself. He was nailed to a cross. He died. He was buried behind a boulder. And because of His love for us, He came out of the tomb so that we could have victory.
Remain. We are to continue, abide, dwell in Christ’s amazing love for us. When we remain in His love, our joy can be unbroken, but it’s important we remain. “He commands them to continue in his love. It is possible for people to live without being mindful of Christ’s love for them and so break the closeness of the fellowship. Jesus commands them not to do this.”2 It’s that fellowship with Jesus that brings the joy we’re looking for.
Keep. Jesus called us to “keep my commands,” which simply means we should obey the One who loves us. As we obey His commands, we remain mindful of His love, further compelling us to obey and remain, or abide, in the love that first led us to obey and abide. It’s an incredible cycle of living in His love.
Question 2:
What are some practical steps we can take to remain in God’s love?
All of us want complete joy, and Jesus wants us to have it. That's why He calls us to dwell in Him and obey Him. When we do what He has called us to do, we experience His love and joy over and over again. Complete joy.
John 15:12-14
12 “This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you. 13 No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.
Javier Sotomayor set the world record for the running high jump at 2.45 meters—more than eight feet—on July 27, 1993.3 My oldest daughter is four feet, ten inches, and I know there’s no way I could jump over her without hurting her. What if Javier commanded me to jump as high as he jumped? I’d be overwhelmed because I couldn’t do it.
This is what I thought of when I read Jesus’ command to love like He loves. How can we love as Jesus loved? Jesus is the world record holder for love. No love has ever been higher, deeper, wider, or stronger than the love of Christ. The disciples, when they heard this, must have thought it was like being asked to high jump eight feet. They knew what Jesus’ love looked like; they had seen His love up close and powerful. They’d seen Him love and serve for nothing in return. They didn’t know it yet, but Jesus was about to show them just how far His love would go when He died on the cross for them.
Question 3:
How would you describe Jesus’ love for you?
How do we love as Jesus loved? Though the example of Christ seems unattainable, the answer is simple: We try. And we obey. We look at Jesus, and we try to be like Him. We may not be able to love to the degree Jesus loved, but we can love in the same manner. We may not see the same impact from our love, but we can share the same heart. We love as we have been loved. Be loved and be obedient.
Jesus then clarified His directions: “No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends.” That means the love Christ wants us to have for one another is active and should be sacrificial. Loving as Jesus loved means sacrificing something for the sake of others. Obeying in this way is like Jesus’ obedience to the Father. It might hurt or cost us dearly, but we move forward for the sake of the ones we love. H.A. Ironside put it this way: “It is one thing to talk about love and another to manifest it. I may say I love my mother, and yet refuse to do anything for her when she is sick. Such love counts for very little. … Love is manifested by active benevolence and by obedience.”4
If we’re not demonstrating our love through action, we aren’t loving. If our love never requires sacrifice, we’re only talking. Jesus laid down His life for us and called us to love as He has loved us.
Question 4:
In what ways can we “lay down" our lives for our friends?
Engage
FOR THE LOVE
In your notes, create the acrostic below and list the ways you can show love by making sacrifices for others. Consider family, neighbors, friends, and coworkers. An example has been provided.
L
O
V isit an elderly neighbor
E
Don't allow this activity to be the end. Make plans to carry out one of these ideas this week. Remember, if we’re not demonstrating our love through action, we aren’t loving. If our love never requires sacrifice, we’re only talking.
John 15:15-17
15 I do not call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce fruit and that your fruit should remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he will give you. 17 “This is what I command you: Love one another.
A few years ago, my family and I moved to “the country” and tried to live the farm life. We figured out how to care for our chickens. We managed to get a few vegetables out of the ground. I planted fruit trees, fruit bushes, and every vegetable you can think of, and at least ninety percent of them died before we could put anything on our table. I know the problem. I like to plant the plant, but I don’t like to love the plant. So, I produced very little fruit.
That’s how many of us approach producing fruit for Jesus. We want to stick a seed in the ground, walk away, and be overwhelmed by the crop produced. That’s not how we produce spiritual fruit that remains.
What kind of fruit are we talking about?
Some equate fruit with how many people you lead to faith in Jesus.
Some connect fruit to the ministry you do in the name of Jesus.
Some insist fruit is about the character of Jesus that God shapes in you.
We see all three concepts of fruit in Scripture. To bear fruit can mean leading people to Jesus (see John 4:36); serving them in Jesus’ name (see Matthew 7:16-20); and developing the character of Jesus (see Galatians 5:22-23). Merely giving verbal assent to being a follower of Jesus is inadequate. Life change must happen—and continue to happen. People will see this in how we influence others to follow Jesus, perform ministry acts in Jesus’ name, and live with Christ-like, Spirit-filled character.
Love is the “fertilizer” that aids our evangelistic efforts, our service to others, and our character that points to Christ. Just because Jesus calls us friends and appoints us, doesn’t negate His commands to dwell in Him and love like Him. We bring those lifelong priorities into our friendship with Jesus and our calling to bear fruit. We bring the love of Jesus to the people around us.
Question 5:
What spiritual fruit have you seen in the lives of other members of this group?
Let’s never separate abiding in Jesus and loving like Jesus from serving Jesus and bearing fruit for Jesus. If we want to bear fruit for Christ, we need to show others the love of Christ. We need to help them long to know the same Jesus who has loved us.
LIVE IT OUT
Jesus wants us to taste and see His love. Only then can we love one another well. How can you live a life that is marked by love this week?
Remind someone of Jesus’ love. Buy a small houseplant or flower. Choose one of the verses from this week and write it on the pot or make a small sign with the verse and put in the soil. Give it to someone as a reminder of Jesus’ love.
Reflect on Jesus’ love. Listen to a favorite hymn or worship song about Jesus’ love. Memorize 1 John 4:9-11. Think about how you have experienced His love.
Love when it's hard. Spend some time in prayer, asking God to help you identify someone in your life you struggle to love. Ask Him to help you see that person as He does and love like He loves. Take one step this week toward loving that person—pray for this individual, get to know this person better, bless him or her with kind words.
All of us want complete joy, and Jesus wants us to have it. That's why He calls us to dwell in Him and obey Him. When we do what He has called us to do, we experience His love and joy over and over again.
1. Trevin Wax, Rethink Your Self: The Power of Looking Up Before Looking In (Nashville: B&H, 2020), 12-13.
2. Leon Morris, The Gospel According to John (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1995), 597.
3. “High Jump World Records,” Topend Sports, https://www.topendsports.com/sport/athletics/record-high-jump.htm.
4. H.A. Ironside, Addresses on the Gospel of John (Neptune, NJ: Loizeaux Brothers, 1942), 663. [Lifeway Adults (2021). (p. 37). Bible Studies for Life: Young Adult Personal Study Guide - CSB - Spring 2022. Lifeway Press. Retrieved from https://read.lifeway.com]